94 pages · PDF · tonight
Don't Be
a Soft Cock
Yarns about being a man in Australia when the country will not shut up about it.
I wrote this at the kitchen table after the kids were in bed. First book. I hang doors for a living.
I want other men to read it because I am watching good blokes in this country get meaner, or get smaller, and call both of those things strength. I do not think that is the job.
What is in it
Twenty-four yarns, then a last chapter.
Sites, sheds, smoko, FIFO, footy sidelines, kitchens. A Friday that started as a few pots. The week after Wayne. You can read it on your phone in the ute or at the table after tea.
I wrote the days I had already paid for, and a few I borrowed from blokes I know. The last chapter names what you have already been sitting in.
- What you think this book is, and what it is pointing at
- The country got weird — both cheap answers, and why they miss
- Work: the slab, the client, smoko, the apprentice
- Home: the door, the kids, money, Christmas, a barbecue that got away
- Mates: the boys, Friday night, the ones who lasted, the week after Wayne
The message
The country got weird about men. The two cheap answers are both wrong.
One lot talks to you like you are a problem that has to be managed. The other lot will sell you a pig licence and call it backbone. I have watched mates take both offers. Neither of them looked stronger by Thursday.
I still think a man in this country should be useful, stand up straight, and do what he said he would do. I do not think hard and loud are the same thing. I do not think kind and soft are the same thing either.
That is why I wrote the yarns instead of a lecture. A bloke will sit with a story longer than he will sit with a speech. I named the book after a line we already use. I would like you to find out who it is pointing at.
A page from the book
Coming through the door
Chapter 6
Coming through the door
The most honest test I know is the first ten minutes after you get home.
Not the speech you would give if someone put a camera on you. The actual walk from the car to the fridge.
Some men come in like they are still on the tools. Short. Sharp. Looking for a place to put the day down, and the nearest person gets it whether they asked or not.
I did that for years and called it being tired.
Tired is real. Taking it out on her is a choice.
Ugly day. Late pour. Builder in my ear. Rain sitting just off the job like it was thinking about it. I came through the door already mid-conversation with someone who was not there.
The rest of the yarn is in the book. So are twenty-three others.
Inside
The yarns
Twenty-four of them. Then a last chapter that ties it together. Do not skip the end.
- 01 What you think this book is
- 02 The country got weird
- 03 A day's work
- 04 The client
- 05 Smoko
- 06 Coming through the door
- 07 Money
- 08 Kids
- 09 The long way home
- 10 Under 12s
- 11 The boys
- 12 The week after Wayne
- 13 Friday night
- 14 New blood
- 15 Flood water
- 16 Away
- 17 The old man in me
- 18 Christmas
- 19 A barbecue that got away
- 20 Two men who emptied out
- 21 The night I almost became the other man
- 22 The ones who lasted
- 23 A Saturday, a funeral, a phone call
- 24 What a soft cock actually is
If you came here to get meaner
I did not write this so you could feel bigger for twenty minutes. Those pages already exist. They will not be there when the house is quiet.
If you still give a shit
Then take the book. I am not signing you up to anything. I am trying to get this into the hands of men who have not yet decided that getting worse is the same as getting honest.
Who it is for
Take it if this is you.
- You work. You have people at home. You can feel the country has gone strange about men and you are not imagining all of it.
- You are sick of being spoken to like a problem, and you are also sick of the pages that tell you every woman is a scam.
- You still think a man should be useful and keep his word, and you can feel yourself getting cheaper without meaning to.
Who it is not for
Leave it if this is you.
- You want someone to tell you every woman is a scam. Those pages already exist.
- You want a morning routine and a bloke on a stage with a slide that says mindset.
- You want me to apologise for having a pair, or to tell you the country is fine.
Before you pay
The boring questions.
What do I actually get?
The book. Ninety-four pages. Twenty-four yarns and a last chapter. Yours the minute you pay. That is it.
How long does it take to read?
One night if you sit still. A few smokos if you do not. Read it in order. Do not skip the end.
Is this that internet stuff?
No. I wrote it because that stuff makes you feel bigger for twenty minutes and smaller by Thursday. This is stories from work and home in this country. That is the whole method.
Daz Brennan
Grew up in Corio, Geelong. Left school at the end of Year 11 for a carpentry apprenticeship because sitting still in a classroom made him angry and standing on a frame did not.
Thirty years on the tools after that — crews, slabs, a FIFO stretch in the Pilbara — and he still works. Melbourne since 2001. Seventeen years with Michelle. Daughter Ella, sixteen. Son Jack, thirteen. Supports Geelong. Drives a 2014 Hilux.
He is not a coach. He wrote this after coming home in a foul mood too many times and watching mates do the same while they were still calling themselves hard. If the book sells he will still be at work on Monday.
Both books
The yarns and the thirty days.
This book is the stories. How to Be a Man is the month after — thirty days, one thing a day, and a sheet you can pin by the kettle. If you want both, they are A$29 together.
Twenty-four dollars. That is the book.
Ninety-four pages of yarns about being a man in Australia when the country is being weird about it.
Read it front to back. Do not skip the end.
I just want you to hear it.